Thursday, August 18, 2005

Strewth ...

So, I went to this information session full of foreigners, like me, to sort out their bank accounts. Half of them were Australians, the rest were South African, save for a couple of girls from Latvia. One young man was like watching Joe Mangel incarnate, who is, of course, my favourite Neighbours character, ever. Young ocker Joe would randomly address the entire room of 25 people, all under the guise of talking to the disinterested South African skater-punk slouched next to him.

“I got meself a job at the Walkabout, mate, I couldn’t stand working in one of those pokey Pommy pubs!”

Which is, naturally, why you would come all the way to England to work … in a pub that’s exactly the same as the one at home. Exactly the same, that is, if your local had boomerangs on the walls and ‘Caution: Crocodiles in Pool Table’ signs. And I hope it doesn’t.

Then:

“Yeah, it’s time to start workin’. I spent the past three weeks in Amsterdam! They were the best bloody three weeks of my life …”

I tried to beat him to the punchline, well, at least mouthed it to myself, like a total nut case.

“But I can’t remember them!”

Boom-boom!

Later, as the NatWest bank representative collected our application forms that we’d spent half an hour painstakingly completing, she joked:

“Now, if anyone has been silly enough to select a password that’s rude, please let me know now because you’ll have to change it.”

After everyone tittered and guffawed that no one could be so stupid, there was a lull of silence.

Then, Joe piped up rather sheepishly, (if he were an especially loud, obnoxious lovably moronic merino):

“Sorry, love, I’ll be needing a new form then!”

He did.