Friday, October 14, 2005

The voices behind my head

Australians, they're everywhere - particularly in Australia, I find, but also in London.

I went and saw The Drones the other night at Garage in Islington, with some Australians, Em, Adam and Andy. While negotiating the drop zone that is the Old Street escalators, racing for a nouthbound train that, due to signal failures, was announced as the last of the evening (at 7.30 pm), I juggled my cone of chips, brolly, and hurtled down my journey to the centre of the earth while eloquently mumbling to no one in particular:

“Christ! If I run any faster, I'm gonna go a gutsa!”

And then, right in my ear, was an Australian voice:

“That'd be a cracker!”

I thought something weird was going on with the space-time continuum and it was one of the voices ahead flipping back at me in some metaphysical wormhole. But no. It was just some random Australian dude I hadn't noticed riding pillion on my backpack and, though I can't be sure, possibly eating some of my chips, the mug.

Later, at the bar, I was fixing my hair in the mirror behind the booze because, plainly, I'm vain and will seek out any reflective surface at all times. There was a sigh.

“You're fiiine. Help me with this foreign money, will ya?”

And it was another random Australian, like a wee puzzled drunken possum on my shoulder, thrusting coins at me. I snorted at his misguided request for financial advice, but obligingly picked out £3.20 for his beer and sent him on his merry way, pocketing a pound* for my Samaritan duties.

*Well, I thought about it.


At 1:50 PM, Blogger Steph said...

When i was in the UK i found Aussies everywhere. We're like the freakin plague over there. I'm sure we all have flashing signs on our heads saying "Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, Oi, oi ,oi":P

At 4:00 PM, Blogger M. Fred said...

When I was in Europe I ran into Austrailians everywhere too. Then one stopped my cousin to get directions and then asked, "Are you a poofter?" which I believe roughly translates to "are you gay?".

Admittedly, all Swedish men do come across as just a wee bit homosexual.

At 7:34 AM, Blogger Nick said...

When overseas the American accent carries because of its nasality; Australians are just plain loud.

I was walking down an empty Vienna street on Australia Day this year when I found an Aboriginal guy sitting there in the snow playing a didgeridoo.


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