Saturday, November 05, 2005

Stashin' (unsuccessful pun on 'dashing') at 30

So, at work on my birthday last Wednesday, I was there standing in front of everyone, unwrapping a succession of teensily wrapped gifties and making appropriate gestures of thanks with a little ingratiating observation on each. So, after the chocolates, lip gloss and eyeshadow, indicating that everyone has been watching me shamelessly:

a) Scoff my head with Mars Bars around 4 pm each day, and

b) Apply make-up at my workstation every twenty-two seconds (nothing at all to do with the passably hot, well-dressed designer that sits six workstations away or anything)

I got to the coin purse, which was essentially a decapitated teddy bear, dangling on a chain:

"Oh!" I exclaimed, flourishing the head to the assembly, like Delvene Delaney in the Sale of the Century giftshop.

"This is just perfect for keeping my stash ..."

And that, unfortunately, was where my throat choked up.

With 'stash' hanging in the air and twenty new workmates looking at me in various states of freeze-frame mortification, three seconds too late, I valiantly spurted out:

"OF!"

And then, turning shades of red, blue and tangerine, I spluttered:

"COINS!"

Thankfully, one of the nice guys in the department drew attention away from me while I quietly choked in cardiac arrest by saying:

"Good call, people! For my birthday I want a purse for my stash ...

OF ...

COINS ...

too!"

So that's me turning 30*.

*Disclaimer: I don't look it.

8 Comments:

At 11:10 PM, Anonymous shauny said...

not a day over 21!

brilliant story. and haaaaapy birthday again :)

 
At 12:16 AM, Blogger shlinki said...

happy birthday! i knew with your sparkling wit and excellent writing ability that you had to be a scorp... (i was 32 on the third)

 
At 1:13 AM, Blogger pipst*r said...

You look stunning and glamourous and a little bit mysterious and as shauny said - not a day over 21.

Happy Birthday Ms Samone.

May your next year provide you with many coins and other things to put into your stash of coins purse.

 
At 10:44 AM, Anonymous nicole said...

Tanjoubi Omedetou - hope you had a fabulous birthday.

Sounds like you scored some fab pressies at work!! :)

 
At 11:40 PM, Blogger Kartar said...

Happy birthday! Hope you consumed too much alcohol and made a fool of yourself. Oh wait... :)

 
At 12:34 AM, Blogger posthipchick said...

yeah! happy 30th, momo.

 
At 1:22 AM, Anonymous yoyo said...

momo did you know that you posted the last two, um, posts at the exact same time of 4.47? just observing.

 
At 8:19 PM, Blogger panajane said...

This is quite possibly the funniest thing I have read all week.

 

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